MY ENVY

“Envy is the sincerest form of flattery.”  - John Churton Collins  1848-1908

Green-eyed girl

I am envious of John Caudwell and Grayson Perry. This may be a peculiar thing to say, but the reason I am envious is not because of their success, apparent wealth or lifestyle, but rather because they are heard. I envy them because I am able to see and hear them on the radio and television giving their thoughts and opinions both within their recognized expertise of art and business, but also, and more importantly, outside those spheres.

Yet they are two of my favourite commentators and interviewees and they are highly worthwhile listening to. John Caudwell is a highly successful businessman and philanthropist that frequently appears on discussion panels. He speaks in a measured, sensible way usually upon social and charitable issues. I have huge respect for him and his words of wisdom as I listen to him and turn green with envy. Similarly I absolutely love Grayson Perry and have visited his exhibitions and read some of his books and articles. Through his art and words he has, in my opinion, become one of the greatest social commentators of his age.

What I like about both Grayson and John is that they both appear to have not only the ability to hear, but also to listen, have empathy and understand. But what is the root of my envy of them?

I am envious because they are asked publicly the questions I would love to answer or comment on publicly. They are invited to speak and people listen. Now, of course, I would be the first to admit my sin of envy is illogical and petty. Afterall, would I be worth listening to? That is possibly the key word, it is possibly a matter of my “worth” which humility forces me to admit is possibly lower than theirs. However, I do believe I could be worth listening to. Would I be coherent and make good television or radio? Possibly not. I have over the years given three radio interviews and hearing myself, at least on two of the three was cringeworthy.

But I am still envious. I have that need to be listened to, to share my experience, my thoughts in so much more than the 280 characters on “X”, which, lets face it, amounts to a shouty match of noise.

So, why are Grayson and John repeatedly interviewed? How has this happened? First of all both of them have been highly successful in their fields from modest beginnings. Both are generous, not referring to financial generosity, but generosity of time and grace towards others indiscriminately. Both are extremely coherent and are good to listen to. They are clearly both available for broadcasts possibly due to their locations and their individual desire to get a plug for their latest work. Yet, despite both of them often saying things I agree with, or at least make me think, I am still green with envy of them. But why?

Lets turn this around. Many people get listened to not because of their intrinsic worth or value, but because they act and say things to attract attention. Look at Donald Trump, possibly the master of this with his, “look at me signing a decree with my big pen. Isn’t it a beautiful decree.” Russel Brand made a career out of saying outrageous things which sadly dilute the few sensible things he has said, but at least he was heard. Nigel Farage is master of the sound bite that will court controversy. I should be envious of them because I surely have greater worth than them. However, it is perhaps an irony, that ordinary people not being listened to has actually created these people. But I am not envious of them because I could never be like them.

However, I could aspire to be like John Caudwell and Grayson Perry to be listened to as I speak with grace empathy and thought. So yes gentlemen, I am envious of you both.

Finally, if you ever hear reports of a green eyed monster roaming around Northumberland like the incredible hulk it will be because Grayson Perry and John Caudwell have appeared on the same show together.